The Green Album

The Muppets are super trendy right now for some reason, and to celebrate/capitalize on this, someone or other is releasing The Green Album, a compilation of Muppet songs as sung by current artists. I love the Muppets, so of course I had to check this out. A review, you say? Why yes, I was indeed planning on such a thing! The album is on NPR First Listen, so you can go enjoy it yourself. Or "enjoy," possibly.

First up, "The Muppet Show Theme" by OK Go. OK Go is a band that is popular due to their impressive ability to perform choreographed dance routines on treadmills. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. That video is fucking awesome. This song is boring. I assume they're all high, which is fine and all, but I feel like they should probably sound like they care at least a little bit. Dude, it's the theme song. You're excited and shit. Oh, you're not? Next!


"Mahna mahna" by The Fray. I always thought it was "Mana mana." Shows what I know. So this song is perfect for The Fray. Isaac Slade's scratchy voice is overly scratchy, and it's funny. This song is funny. Nothing special, but I have a secret love for The Fray, and they do quite a good job on this cover. Who couldn't with this song, you ask? I don't know, but OK Go sure sounded a lot less interesting, and they did the fucking theme song.

Next: "Movin' Right Along" by the Alkaline Trio. I don't know who these guys are. Apparently they're from McHenry, Illinois, so that's funny. I approve of this one. They're upbeat and sound like they're having fun. This is one of my favorite Muppet songs, so it was nice to hear these guys kind of get into it a little bit. Acceptable.

"Our World" by My Morning Jacket is next. I love Monsters of Folk. Jim James should do more of that. I just don't get My Morning Jacket. This sounds sufficiently like a My Morning Jacket song with Jim James sounding like an irritating '60s folk singer.

"Halfway Down The Stairs" by Amy Lee. She's that chick from Evanescence. Apparently she was trained in opera or some shit. This is very operatic. She pronounces it "Hahf-way Down the Stahs." I want to like her, but this is not something I would ever listen to on purpose.

"Mr. Bassman" by Sondre Lerche. I don't know who this is either. He's Norweigan, I guess. This is a super weird track. He sounds like a weird guy. Meh.

"Wishing Song" by The Airborne Toxic Event. This reminds me of a song from an MST3K short. I was waiting for it to be an overly extensive advertisement for telephones. Nope. I guess this is okay. I kind of wish this was Mumford & Sons. No, I really wish that. That would have been kickass.

"Night Life" by Brandon Saller. The guy from Atreyu, I hear. Atreyu is the name of the horse who dies in The Neverending Story. I never quite got over that. I preferred the horse to the band. Can you really "rock out" a Muppets song? You can sure try.

"Bein Green" by Andrew Bird. The original version of this song is super dreary. Have you ever listened to it? You wouldn't think Kermit could sound so down. Or so boring. He does both. This is just perfect for Andrew Bird. It doesn't mean I'd actually listen to the boring song or listen to any other Andrew Bird music.

"I Hope That Something Better Comes Along" by Matt Nathanson. This is a funny song. It's Kermit and Rowlf, a frog and a dog, singing about women. Jokey. Funny. Get it, Matt Nathanson? No. No, he doesn't. This is the creepiest fucking song. He makes it sound like he's an asshole woman-hater. Perhaps John Mayer. I don't know. I want to punch him after listening to this.

"I'm Going To Go Back There Someday" by Rachel Yamagata. This is fine. It's boring, but it's Rachel Yamagata. What do you expect? It's still sort of pretty. I pretended it was Regina Spektor, and then it was better.

"The Rainbow Connection" by Weezer. My favorite Muppet song. In fact, my favorite song from my childhood. I hate covers of songs like this because they always suck, but I always have to listen to see if maybe this time they don't suck. So this song was the reason I listened to this album anyway. Weezer is only so-so with me, so I was bracing myself for that. It's not like it was Hayley Williams or something. Now that would be awesome.

I shit you not. In the second verse, guess who shows up for a guest appearance. Seriously, she does. It's awesome. Okay, it's not that awesome. I dislike their harmonies, and the song actually appears to be lower than "Airplanes," so why Hayley? No one knows. Anyway, her voice is quite lovely, and I'm pleased by that, despite the less than ideal harmonies and lack of banjo.

My verdict? Yeah, it sucks. It's a tribute album. They all suck. Am I over it? Sufficiently. Will I listen to it again? Not on purpose.

Except "The Rainbow Connection."