Bad Nail Polish Names

I hate nail polish names. They're so dumb. I'm sure these people think they're being clever, but they're not. It's just stupid most of the time. And if there's anything I love, it's making fun of stupidity. Today's offender is Essie. I actually have never tried Essie nail polish. It's at the top of my list of polishes I want to try, and they sell it at Target, so mostly I'm just being lazy by not buying one of their colors. However, with a name like this, maybe I don't want to support this company at all.

This polish is called Starter Wife. Yes, Starter Wife. Apparently this is a color you use for a couple of years until you get sick of it, and then you trade it in for a new, younger model.