5:00 AM Nail Polish Notes

I'm going wedding ring shopping today, and I learned from last week's experience that I need to wear glitter polish because it looks amazing under the jewelry store lights. Last week's adventure was Color Club's Beyond the Mistletoe. Today I decided to give the Muppets glitters another try. 

Good news, everyone! Turns out I have a messed up bottle of Rainbow Connection! You're not excited, I know, but this polish was a major disappointment. If you want the whole story, you can read about it here. I think I talked about the Rainbow Connection on this blog before, so I won't go into it again. At any rate, the polish royally sucked...or did it? 

You're not supposed to shake nail polish (even though everyone does), so I usually roll the bottle between my hands before using it. Well, today I really looked at the bottle. It was almost completely separated. The top was this thin crap with very little glitter that was mostly silver. But when I looked at the entire bottle, I realized that actually, I was an idiot. The bottom of the bottle was packed with chunky, multi-colored glitter. The bottle is now upside-down after being shaken a whole bunch in the hopes of maybe mixing the polish a little, but I put some on already this morning, and I can see a difference even in the non-daylight. So okay, this polish may be amazing after all. 

I'd post pictures, but my fiance turned on the flash on my camera, and I don't know how to turn it off. There are, like, 8 billion icons, and none of them make sense. I turned the flash-looking one off, but it didn't help. So whatever. You probably don't care anyway. 

But seriously, the possibility that Rainbow Connection the nail polish could be awesomer than Hayley Williams' version of Rainbow Connection the song is a very pleasant way to start my weekend.

Roundup

I'm so damn tired I can hardly think lately. So here's my random roundup of my life:

I know beggars can't be choosers, but seriously, is it so much to ask for my prescription to be remotely on time? Three to seven days has turned into 14, and I ran out about seven days ago when it was supposed to be here. So I called today to figure out what was going on and was told they'd resend it next-day air because it must have gotten lost in the mail. So now I have a new question: that's a $1,400 prescription. Who's eating that money? Because it sure as hell isn't going to be me.

I urge you to love Wil Wheaton. The slogan of his blog at http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/ is "Will Wheaton says, 'Don't be a dick!'" How can you not love that?

I also urge you to love Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess (http://thebloggess.com/). She is pretty kickass. Also, there's a whole story about Wil Wheaton collating papers, which is what made me think I probably should love Wil Wheaton.

Despite not getting my clearly needed prescription, I did get my Unicorn Puke today, which you can read all about at www.RosieSparkle.com. Oh, nail polish. How I love you.

I keep having these weird dreams. Like two nights ago I dreamed that my friend Eriny played the saxophone. I'm pretty sure Eriny has never played the saxophone. And then last night I dreamed I met the dad of a girl I coached in softball about 10 years ago, and he told me my head was nicely shaped. The fuck?! I mean, I'm sure my head is a decent shape as far as heads go, but why the hell would I dream that? So messed up.

I blame this all on my lack of prescription. Never go without your drugs, dearies.

Yum! Sushi!

My lovely fiance and I enjoyed our sushi last night.

I had the pinkish blob sushi.

Correction: I had part of the pinkish blob sushi (I think it's supposed to be a tongue).

Seriously, it was about the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten. I mean, maybe there have been more disgusting things I've eaten, but I just can't think of them. Blech. The bottom part is like a marshmallow, only gross, and the top part is some sort of tasteless gummy ick. I love sugar as much as the next person, but even the sugar content couldn't save this stuff. 

Check this one out:

I won't be eating this, but I kind of want to paint its nail. In related news, I'm wearing Pepe's Purple Passion with a coat of Rainbow Connection over it (both from the Muppets collection by OPI), in case you were checking out my gorgeous thumbnail there. You can take a look at my current lineup or see the whole Muppets collection at my other blog.

But you can only see disgusting fake body part candy sushi right here in my prolific guide to life.

Who Would Have Bought That?

The other day I made this purchase on Amazon:

They're tiny little ziploc bags that I use in relation to my nail polish problem. They were, like, $4 or something, so no big deal. What was pretty funny, though, was the suggestions Amazon gave me for things people who buy these little bags also buy:

A portable digital gram scale. Really? What would you need a portable gram scale for? Are you going to measure out your food portions and save them in these little bags? Perhaps you are monitoring your pet bird's weight and are keeping, I don't know, poop samples in the bags or something? I can think of no other legal reason why you would buy very small ziplocs and a portable scale together.

There were a couple other scales, and then this one came up:

Rolling papers. Huh. So you take your cigarettes apart, store the nicotine in these little baggies until you're ready, and then roll it yourself in these nifty little cigarette papers. Gee, that seems like a lot of work when you can just use the ready-rolled cigarettes. Perhaps you're being extra cautious to monitor your nicotine intake (in grams). This is commendable.

Oh yeah. I've got it all figured out.

I guess it's fitting

As I began painting my nails today, I happened to read this headline:

Today is World Alzheimer's Day - Wear Purple Nail Polish!

Oops. I'm wearing silver. I guess I forgot about Alzheimer's Day.

Made With Bits of Real Panther?

This is my newest nail polish. Pretty, right?

I have never smelled anything so horrible in my entire life. It smells like someone gave a skunk a breath mint. I'm seriously nauseous right now from the god-awful smell. WTF, China Glaze?

My Nails Are Awesome

Perhaps I'm the only one who cares about nail polish stuff. But seriously, this turned out pretty awesome. My nails are horribly peely and weak, so I have the problem that whenever I paint them, the polish looks awful on the tips, and it chips within a day or so. So I got this brilliant idea that I was going to cover up the tips with some other color. It's pretty much my first attempt at doing something interesting with my nails. It's kind of like the whole gradient idea thing, except that my nails were copper and I wanted to add silver, which doesn't really lend itself to a gradient very well. But who cares. It looks awesome. Check it out:

The ones above are my right hand, which is (in case you're interested in brands) Zoya Penny on my middle and pinky fingers and Julep Zoe on the other two (yes, they're two different coppers that look identical). The silver is Zoya Ginessa.

These ones are Julep Zoe on the middle and pinky fingers and Zoya Penny on the other two with Zoya Laney on the tips.

Seriously, try to tell me that's not awesome. Because you're wrong. Plus, I don't care. I think it's awesome.

A Nail Polish Milestone

As previously indicated, I'm coming up on a nail polish milestone. I have 99 bottles of nail polish, which logically indicates that the next bottle will be my 100th. I feel like I should have a party or something. Or at least it should be a really super awesome nail polish that I've really wanted. This creates a huge dilemma. What should be my 100th nail polish?

Jay-Z Reference About My 91 Nail Polishes

I have 91 bottles of nail polish. By the end of next week I will have at least 99. Yes, 99 different colors of nail polish. In case you'd forgotten, this is my (newly reorganized) stash:

I'm looking at this, and there's not a single color I feel like wearing right now.

I think my soul is tired.

OMG This Still Exists

So back in the 1990s when Alicia Silverstone was, like, the coolest ever, she went on Letterman or something like that wearing a nail polish by a little company called Hard Candy. Of course, as soon as she said the name, demand skyrocketed. Everyone wanted Hard Candy nail polish, especially in Sky, the color Alicia was wearing on Letterman. I'm fairly certain demand exceeded production ability, which is why they kind of fell off the map. But for a little while there, Hard Candy was pretty much the coolest thing ever.

I didn't know all of that because I was, like, 13 or something, but look what I have, vintage 1996:

More New Colors

Here are my three newest nail polishes. I was quite excited to find these brands at Sally Beauty, and they didn't disappoint. In fact, I'm fairly certain I may have inadvertently bought the top three colors on my Zoya Wishlist. Kickass. Anyway:

This is my foot. Last time you saw it, it was green. Oh, the memories. Today it's blue. The color is called Art of Theft by a company named Finger Paints. Their colors have mostly art-related names, which is okay with me. Some of them are lame, but I'm cool with the theme. This is a very dark blue with a purplish shimmer to it. This is not at all the color I was expecting from the bottle:

Bad Nail Polish Names

I hate nail polish names. They're so dumb. I'm sure these people think they're being clever, but they're not. It's just stupid most of the time. And if there's anything I love, it's making fun of stupidity. Today's offender is Essie. I actually have never tried Essie nail polish. It's at the top of my list of polishes I want to try, and they sell it at Target, so mostly I'm just being lazy by not buying one of their colors. However, with a name like this, maybe I don't want to support this company at all.

This polish is called Starter Wife. Yes, Starter Wife. Apparently this is a color you use for a couple of years until you get sick of it, and then you trade it in for a new, younger model.

Blue Fingers and Green Toes

More fun with nail polish! Have I mentioned my crippling nail polish obsession? It all started when I decided I didn't want to bite my nails anymore. Now I just like all the colors. I have a thing for bright colors. I also really enjoy doing strange things with my nail polish, like wearing many different colors at the same time. Today's adventure is greens and blues. 

These are my toes. I have monkey toes. Also, in this picture I have green toes. Currently I have normal-colored toes because I'm about to paint them again. But that's irrelevant for this post.

Do I Want To Be This Color?

This is a swatch of a Rescue Beauty Lounge nail polish from my favorite nail polish blog, Scrangie. I've never tried this particular brand of nail polish before, and at $18 they're over the limit of what I can justify spending on a bottle of nail polish. But the color is pretty.

I have a problem with nail polish names in general, which is another post altogether, but this one in particular bothers me. This color is called Bruised. Just thinking about that name makes me really sad. Why would I purposely want to be the color of a bruise? I've spent enough time in my life trying to cover up bruises that I just can't imagine wanting to be Bruised on purpose. You know? 

There are far more offensive nail polish names and far uglier colors, but this one just makes me sad. 

Today's Nail Fun

I recently remembered we have a Sally Beauty Supply in town, which I decided to check out. Of course, they had some super awesome brands I've been wanting to try in some super awesome colors nobody should probably ever wear. Here are my first two.

On my left hand today is a color called Solar Flare by Nina Pro Ultra:

In case that doesn't totally demonstrate, here's the same color against my black pants:

It looks like I took a yellow highlighter and colored all over my nails. It's super awesome. It did take about eleventy coats to get to this level of opaqueness, though, which is annoying. The plus side was that they all dried super quick. The minus side was that since I took this picture this morning, two of the fingers have already chipped pretty badly. Oh well. I wasn't going to want neon yellow fingernails for very long anyway.

This color is neon melon or coral, not quite as orange as it looks here. It's called Flip Flop Fantasy by China Glaze. Wow is it bright. This one is a definite winner. It went on nicely, and it's a great color. I think I may have found my new second-favorite nail polish brand.

Also, I'm totally going to go broke from buying new and exciting nail polish colors.