Stupid Blue Jay

There is a blue jay who likes to sit on our deck and practice mimicking other birds. I'm serious. He does a Canadian goose, a seagull, a house finch, a cardinal, and probably some others that I'm forgetting right now. I'll be sitting at the table, minding my own business, and then all of a sudden, "The hell? Is there a seagull on our deck?" Nope. Just the blue jay.

I've been waiting for months for the red-bellied woodpecker to start coming to our feeders again. These are the coolest birds ever. I did another post on them one time, so I won't go into it too much. Basically, they're really big woodpeckers with Hayley Williams-colored heads. And they bark like little flying cocker spaniels. Super awesome.

Just a second ago, I heard a red-bellied woodpecker. Of course, I got all excited and happy for the return of Parry. This is the bird-related moment I've been waiting for since the spring! But when I looked out, I didn't see Parry on the deck.

Of course you know where this is going. That goddamn blue jay can mimic a red-bellied woodpecker. I love the blue jays, and it's really cool that this guy is so talented, but seriously, blue jay. Stop playing with my emotions like that.

Of Course it's Faux Fur!

So you have that faux fur-trimmed hood on your down jacket because it's cruelty to animals to wear fur?

Reasons My Parrot Screams

NPR is playing opera music.
NPR is playing Prairie Home Companion.
There's bad reception on his radio.
He has one soda box in his cage when he really wants the one that's on the floor next to his cage.
He has a soda box that was opened incorrectly so the opening is in the wrong place.
He's unable to get in his soda box because he flipped it so the opening is facing down.
He wants a pistachio.
He's just checking to see if I remember he's there.
He's practicing being a drill.
He's practicing being a hammer.
He's bored.
He's asleep and probably having a dream that he's screaming.
He thinks it's funny.

I'm sure I could just keep going with this for hours.

Heartbroken

Some of you know I have absolutely the coolest bird ever in the history of birds. His name is Chomper.

Adorable, right? He's a Jardine's parrot, which is an African parrot in the poicephalus family. He's like a revved up version of a Senegal or Meyer's parrot. Jardine's can be a little beaky, but they're also usually smart, along the lines of an African Grey. Chomper is very smart and super funny. He loves entertaining. Here he is playing dead:

Chomper is really good with people, especially people who are scared of birds or don't like birds. He's very perceptive that way, and he adapts his behaviors to fit the people around him. We used to take him to meet-and-greets with preschoolers, and he never bit anyone, even when they pulled his tail or snuck up on him. He'd occasionally give you these looks like, "Really?" but he'd never bite. 

He also talks. He actually has quite an extensive vocabulary, and he can interchange words, which is something only really intelligent birds can do. For example, we taught him to say, "Good bird," and he immediately started saying, "Good boy," "Good Chomper," and "Good baby." He clearly understands language, and you can ask questions and get honest responses from him. Of course, he prefers saying, "No!" to anything you ask, but that's because he has the emotional maturity of a 2-year-old. It's understandable. 

Chomper used to be called Baby, which I still call him half the time anyway. But when he moved in with me, I changed his name to Chomper, after the dinosaur from The Land Before Time, because he always kind of looked like a little dinosaur to me. 

He understood that his name was Baby, and he understands that his name is Chomper, but for a while he referred to himself as "Beeber," which is a combination of "Baby" and "Chomper." Crazy, right? He's way too smart for his own good.

I absolutely adore this bird. I spoiled him rotten and did everything I possibly could to make his life perfect. Chomper is my baby, and I honestly would do anything I could to make him happy. I don't think I could possibly love him anymore if he were my actual child. 

So of course, it broke my heart that I couldn't make him happy. No matter what I did, no matter what toys I gave him, how much time I spent playing with him, what food I gave him, or anything else, Chomper wasn't happy. He got to the point where he didn't even want to spend time with me. He'd just ask to go back to his cage. Then he'd scream in his cage because he didn't really want that either. No matter what I did, I just couldn't give him what he wanted, whatever that was.

Chomper adores my mom. She's always been his favorite person. So finally, one day I called her, in tears, to ask if she would consider letting Chompy stay with her for a little bit. He was just so unhappy, and it was making both of us miserable. It just wasn't fair to him. So I gathered up his favorite toys and treats, and I took my baby over to my mom's house. And I left him there. 

With Chompy gone, my house is quiet and empty. Sure, it's nice not to have to listen to him scream, but the real issue with the screaming wasn't the noise. It was the fact that he only screamed like that when he wanted something. And the bottom line was he didn't want me. 

When you really love someone, you want what's best for them, no matter what that is, no matter how much it hurts. And obviously living with me was not what was best. When I've seen him since he left, he's been just radiant. He talks and entertains, and my mom says he's happy most of the time now. He eats better and sleeps better, and everyone just loves him. He's my Chomper again. 

He's just not my baby anymore. 

I Miss Parry

I have two favorite outdoor birds. Okay, I have a whole bunch of favorites. But my favorite favorite two are the nuthatch (of course) and this guy:

This is a red-bellied woodpecker. They were frequent visitors at our feeders last year, and then they just disappeared. Which really sucks because they were totally my favorites. We had at least a couple of them, which I named Parry and William because their heads are the same color as Hayley Williams' hair:

I usually don't name the outdoor birds, but in this case, I obviously had to. Hopefully they'll be back soon.