The Muppets (The Movie)

I know you're all wondering, and yes, I have seen The Muppets. I have an issue with what to call this movie. I always want to refer to it as "the Muppet movie" because it's a movie about Muppets. But it's not The Muppet Movie because that's a different thing entirely. But it sounds weird to talk about watching The Muppets. So instead I mostly refer to it as "the new Muppet movie," which works, I guess. Because it's new and a movie and about Muppets. Flawless logic, I know.

So anyway, The Muppets was a feel-good romp for the entire family. I don't really know what that means. It just seems like the thing to say. I was expecting the worst of this movie because Muppets are a hard thing to do well. Also, I dislike Jason Segel and Amy Adams. There's no reason for this. They just annoy me. So basically, I thought this was going to make my eyes bleed. I'm happy to report I was pleasantly surprised. Also, no blood.

Jason Segel was quite good in this movie. His voice is very pleasant, and he looked like a human Muppet, which was perfect. He still irritates me, but I have to say I have a ton of respect for him. He pretty much made this movie happen. Thank you, sir. Amy Adams was annoying. She didn't do anything particularly annoying. She just annoys me. Otherwise, the humans were awesome. Chris Cooper was hilarious. Rashida Jones is always awesome. And super gorgeous (although I'm still glad Jim ended up with Pam). The cameos were pretty funny for the most part as well. So that's a plus.

Overall, I really enjoyed the movie. It was really cute, and it actually kept a lot of the Muppets humor, so it was funny too. I was incredibly surprised by that outcome.

The new Muppet, Walter, was stupid. The whole thing where he had to find his talent (spoiler--it's whistling) was lame. Whistling is a super lame talent. Come on, Mr. Segel. Come up with a better talent than that. Seriously. Otherwise, Walter was pretty much just an excuse for the plot to happen, not an actual character. P.S. Apparently it's Andrew Bird whistling at the end. No shit. Not a flute. A real guy.

The best part of the movie, besides Kermit scrunching up his face like he does in The Muppet Movie when he says, "Alligators," was the music. I'm a big fan of Flight of the Concords, and Bret McKenzie did the songs for The Muppets, so I assumed the music would be awesome. Yep. The songs were funny and catchy and totally carried the movie. Again, I have to mention Jason Segel's voice. I was really impressed. He sounded like he actually could sing, not just like an actor singing. However, you should be prepared to be singing Muppets songs for a considerable amount of time after seeing the movie.

So there's my review, sort of. The Muppets' voices were a little weird, but I mostly got over it (except for Miss Piggy--not even close). Also, at the end when they sang "The Rainbow Connection," apparently Miss Piggy played the part of that annoying Hollywood agent from The Muppet Movie. Which is fine and all, but with everyone singing along, I'm unclear on why Hayley Williams didn't have a cameo. Missed opportunity on that one, movie.

There you have it. All in all, a feel-good romp for the entire family. Or whatever cliche you choose.

5:00 AM Nail Polish Notes

I'm going wedding ring shopping today, and I learned from last week's experience that I need to wear glitter polish because it looks amazing under the jewelry store lights. Last week's adventure was Color Club's Beyond the Mistletoe. Today I decided to give the Muppets glitters another try. 

Good news, everyone! Turns out I have a messed up bottle of Rainbow Connection! You're not excited, I know, but this polish was a major disappointment. If you want the whole story, you can read about it here. I think I talked about the Rainbow Connection on this blog before, so I won't go into it again. At any rate, the polish royally sucked...or did it? 

You're not supposed to shake nail polish (even though everyone does), so I usually roll the bottle between my hands before using it. Well, today I really looked at the bottle. It was almost completely separated. The top was this thin crap with very little glitter that was mostly silver. But when I looked at the entire bottle, I realized that actually, I was an idiot. The bottom of the bottle was packed with chunky, multi-colored glitter. The bottle is now upside-down after being shaken a whole bunch in the hopes of maybe mixing the polish a little, but I put some on already this morning, and I can see a difference even in the non-daylight. So okay, this polish may be amazing after all. 

I'd post pictures, but my fiance turned on the flash on my camera, and I don't know how to turn it off. There are, like, 8 billion icons, and none of them make sense. I turned the flash-looking one off, but it didn't help. So whatever. You probably don't care anyway. 

But seriously, the possibility that Rainbow Connection the nail polish could be awesomer than Hayley Williams' version of Rainbow Connection the song is a very pleasant way to start my weekend.

Musings on Decisions

Warning: Slightly sappy/insane/possibly optimistic post. I'd skip it if I were you. Go answer my zombie apocalypse question instead.

Sometimes the wackos at my job get to me, and I have to try their crazy shit. Today's adventure is about intuition. Basically the exercise goes like this: you really focus on a bad decision you've made in your life. It has to be something you thought was a good decision but turned out to be a bad decision. You try to think of the exact moment you made that decision, and you really focus on that. Then there is a series of questions this guy asks you about whatever images come to your mind. For example, he asks about the appearance of the scenes, the colors, whether you're part of the scenes or not, what it sounds like, if there's any taste, and what physical sensations you have. I think they're supposed to be what you're feeling right now, not necessarily what you felt when you made the decision.

Then you do the same thing with a time you made a really good decision that turned out to be a really good decision. You answer all the same questions. Ideally, someone else is doing this with you and writing down your answers, but you can write them yourself as you go. The important thing is not to analyze as you go. What you're seeing or feeling is just that. You're not looking for meaning.

OMG This Still Exists

So back in the 1990s when Alicia Silverstone was, like, the coolest ever, she went on Letterman or something like that wearing a nail polish by a little company called Hard Candy. Of course, as soon as she said the name, demand skyrocketed. Everyone wanted Hard Candy nail polish, especially in Sky, the color Alicia was wearing on Letterman. I'm fairly certain demand exceeded production ability, which is why they kind of fell off the map. But for a little while there, Hard Candy was pretty much the coolest thing ever.

I didn't know all of that because I was, like, 13 or something, but look what I have, vintage 1996:

The Green Album

The Muppets are super trendy right now for some reason, and to celebrate/capitalize on this, someone or other is releasing The Green Album, a compilation of Muppet songs as sung by current artists. I love the Muppets, so of course I had to check this out. A review, you say? Why yes, I was indeed planning on such a thing! The album is on NPR First Listen, so you can go enjoy it yourself. Or "enjoy," possibly.

First up, "The Muppet Show Theme" by OK Go. OK Go is a band that is popular due to their impressive ability to perform choreographed dance routines on treadmills. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. That video is fucking awesome. This song is boring. I assume they're all high, which is fine and all, but I feel like they should probably sound like they care at least a little bit. Dude, it's the theme song. You're excited and shit. Oh, you're not? Next!

The Best Advice I Ever Got

When I was a freshman in college, I lived with two other girls. One was kind of a bitch. I disliked her. I called her Gwyneth. I don't remember her real name. The other, however, was pretty cool. She was a senior, and I think she was in that whole "finding herself" phase, except that she always had a pretty strong sense of who she was. It was just figuring out who everyone else was.

Anyway, she had this friend named Colette who was, like, the coolest girl I'd ever met. She was this tall black chick with kind of stereotypical '70s natural hair, and she always had on a Rambo-style headband. She worked at the co-op down the street, and she dressed like someone who would work at a co-op like that. She always kind of reminded me of Janice from the Muppets, off in her own world.