Decisions of the Day

1. Do I get the wedding ring I like the most that's more expensive than my conscience appreciates, or do I go with my second choice that I don't like quite as much that's easier on the wallet?

2. Larry Fitzgerald versus Baltimore or Robert Meachem versus St. Louis?

EDIT: The correct answer, of course, was Larry Fitzgerald versus Baltimore. However, it was not Dez Bryant, Jason Witten, Joe Flacco, or Denver's defense (the Jets were on a bye and Denver was a last-minute substitution--I'm not that dumb). So as usual, the final answer is to count on Adrian Peterson to bail his shitty fantasy teammates out. Mission accomplished.

Oh, and I still don't know about the ring.

Not the Brightest Cat

Actual statement that just left my mouth: "Don't eat the fire extinguisher!"

Canned Pumpkin

I'm making pumpkin bread because it's delicious. Squash in general is disgusting, and pumpkin kind of makes my skin crawl, but when you put it in bread, it turns into delicious wonderfulness. Anyway, we have two cans of pumpkin puree, so when deciding which one to use, here were my thoughts:

1. I should check the expiration dates and use the older one first.
2. I should use the Shurfine one and leave Joe the brand-name one.

There is so much wrong with both of those thoughts.

It does, however, leave me with a super-awesome romantic statement: "I love you so much I'd use the generic can of pumpkin puree and let you have the brand-name one."

Any day now I'll be writing for a soap opera.

5:00 AM Nail Polish Notes

I'm going wedding ring shopping today, and I learned from last week's experience that I need to wear glitter polish because it looks amazing under the jewelry store lights. Last week's adventure was Color Club's Beyond the Mistletoe. Today I decided to give the Muppets glitters another try. 

Good news, everyone! Turns out I have a messed up bottle of Rainbow Connection! You're not excited, I know, but this polish was a major disappointment. If you want the whole story, you can read about it here. I think I talked about the Rainbow Connection on this blog before, so I won't go into it again. At any rate, the polish royally sucked...or did it? 

You're not supposed to shake nail polish (even though everyone does), so I usually roll the bottle between my hands before using it. Well, today I really looked at the bottle. It was almost completely separated. The top was this thin crap with very little glitter that was mostly silver. But when I looked at the entire bottle, I realized that actually, I was an idiot. The bottom of the bottle was packed with chunky, multi-colored glitter. The bottle is now upside-down after being shaken a whole bunch in the hopes of maybe mixing the polish a little, but I put some on already this morning, and I can see a difference even in the non-daylight. So okay, this polish may be amazing after all. 

I'd post pictures, but my fiance turned on the flash on my camera, and I don't know how to turn it off. There are, like, 8 billion icons, and none of them make sense. I turned the flash-looking one off, but it didn't help. So whatever. You probably don't care anyway. 

But seriously, the possibility that Rainbow Connection the nail polish could be awesomer than Hayley Williams' version of Rainbow Connection the song is a very pleasant way to start my weekend.

Musings on Decisions

Warning: Slightly sappy/insane/possibly optimistic post. I'd skip it if I were you. Go answer my zombie apocalypse question instead.

Sometimes the wackos at my job get to me, and I have to try their crazy shit. Today's adventure is about intuition. Basically the exercise goes like this: you really focus on a bad decision you've made in your life. It has to be something you thought was a good decision but turned out to be a bad decision. You try to think of the exact moment you made that decision, and you really focus on that. Then there is a series of questions this guy asks you about whatever images come to your mind. For example, he asks about the appearance of the scenes, the colors, whether you're part of the scenes or not, what it sounds like, if there's any taste, and what physical sensations you have. I think they're supposed to be what you're feeling right now, not necessarily what you felt when you made the decision.

Then you do the same thing with a time you made a really good decision that turned out to be a really good decision. You answer all the same questions. Ideally, someone else is doing this with you and writing down your answers, but you can write them yourself as you go. The important thing is not to analyze as you go. What you're seeing or feeling is just that. You're not looking for meaning.

The Freezinator

While watching postseason baseball, every time David Freese gets up:

Joe (in Mr. Freeze from "Batman and Robin" voice): Ice to meet you!

Conversations at Home

A real conversation I just had with my fiance:

Joe: Yay! I'm a good boy.
Me: You can't even be evil in videogames.
Joe: I learned from Spiderman that with great power comes great responsibility.
Me: I learned from Spiderman that if you're too evil, you turn into Eric Forman.
Joe: Why aren't all our conversations chronicled on Facebook?

Well, sweetheart, now they will be. I'm making a Faceook page.

Music Time!

Stumbled across this chick the other day, and now I kinda love her. Enjoy!

 

Roundup

I'm so damn tired I can hardly think lately. So here's my random roundup of my life:

I know beggars can't be choosers, but seriously, is it so much to ask for my prescription to be remotely on time? Three to seven days has turned into 14, and I ran out about seven days ago when it was supposed to be here. So I called today to figure out what was going on and was told they'd resend it next-day air because it must have gotten lost in the mail. So now I have a new question: that's a $1,400 prescription. Who's eating that money? Because it sure as hell isn't going to be me.

I urge you to love Wil Wheaton. The slogan of his blog at http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/ is "Will Wheaton says, 'Don't be a dick!'" How can you not love that?

I also urge you to love Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess (http://thebloggess.com/). She is pretty kickass. Also, there's a whole story about Wil Wheaton collating papers, which is what made me think I probably should love Wil Wheaton.

Despite not getting my clearly needed prescription, I did get my Unicorn Puke today, which you can read all about at www.RosieSparkle.com. Oh, nail polish. How I love you.

I keep having these weird dreams. Like two nights ago I dreamed that my friend Eriny played the saxophone. I'm pretty sure Eriny has never played the saxophone. And then last night I dreamed I met the dad of a girl I coached in softball about 10 years ago, and he told me my head was nicely shaped. The fuck?! I mean, I'm sure my head is a decent shape as far as heads go, but why the hell would I dream that? So messed up.

I blame this all on my lack of prescription. Never go without your drugs, dearies.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

If you have not seen Birdemic: Shock and Terror, you must see it. And you must purchase the Rifftrax for it. Trust me. If you have not done this, do it. Then read this about the movie's star:

Alan Bagh(born May 30, 1985) is an American actor and model. He is best known for playing "Rod" in the horror film Birdemic.

[edit]Career

Alan has performed in theater, film, television, commercial, internet, and industrial productions, in subcategories such as seals, acting, casting, props, hair and make-up, transportation, electrical, lighting, and production.

You're welcome.

Yum! Sushi!

My lovely fiance and I enjoyed our sushi last night.

I had the pinkish blob sushi.

Correction: I had part of the pinkish blob sushi (I think it's supposed to be a tongue).

Seriously, it was about the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten. I mean, maybe there have been more disgusting things I've eaten, but I just can't think of them. Blech. The bottom part is like a marshmallow, only gross, and the top part is some sort of tasteless gummy ick. I love sugar as much as the next person, but even the sugar content couldn't save this stuff. 

Check this one out:

I won't be eating this, but I kind of want to paint its nail. In related news, I'm wearing Pepe's Purple Passion with a coat of Rainbow Connection over it (both from the Muppets collection by OPI), in case you were checking out my gorgeous thumbnail there. You can take a look at my current lineup or see the whole Muppets collection at my other blog.

But you can only see disgusting fake body part candy sushi right here in my prolific guide to life.

Why Does This Exist?

My thoughtful fiance brought me home a special treat yesterday:

The hell?

I came across this ad today:

The hell? Business cards and registry cards I get. But mommy cards? Like moms have no other identity than "Dominic's mom"? And dating cards? Really? Do you seriously think any girl is going to give you the time of day if you hand her a card that says "Chad Fulton, Stand up guy"? If you do, you're stupid. If you want a business card to impress chicks, get business cards. Even if they say "Fry guy," it's still better than a fucking dating card. You might as well say, "Hey, baby. Here's my card. I can't afford to buy you a drink because I  don't have a job and I live in my mom's basement and play World of Warcraft all day. So do you want to go back to your place? No? That's okay. I've got 249 more chicks to hit on tonight."

Perhaps this guy can get his mom matching mommy cards that say "Chad the Loser's mom."